Because I feel Blessed

Lord I feel so renewed…
So much happened today for me. I was able to finally detach myself from someone toxic from my past and start leaving myself open for someone who truly deserves my attention, my genuine love I consciously chose to give to someone who didn’t deserve but an ounce of it. And I gained a new layer of understanding my purpose and desires for my lifetumblr_lu5xrqCMoz1r3iceno1_500

I feel like I got baptized
I feel like after weeks of the pounding and panging, the blacksmith lifted his hammer to reveal something altogether foreign to this world, something new, something new and something good. After weeks of Plutonian hell, I’ve surrendered and I’ve risen from the ashes of what I once was

Flying far above the charred visage disaster zone, I can see clearly all the evolution that’s taken place within me and I’m proud of myself. I mean I’ve gotten myself through such hells it’s a literal miracle I’m here

I recognize my power, my raw strength,
and this is coming from a woman who evolved from a girl to a teenager who, without any semblance of exaggeration, felt herself worthless and weak, powerless in every sense of the word, unworthy of the most bare of essentials to basic life let alone anything of soul, anything derived from my searing and soothing passion and the fire the fire, the fire that keeps me whole

Getting myself from here to there was the most hellish of rides,

but I chose it
and I did it.
I did it with my own hands, the powerful light of my spirit, my refusal to settle for anything less than what I desire with utmost totality of soul, my ability to withstand mental-emotional-spiritual Hadean bleakness so void of all, even coalblack darkness, I questioned if there was any light at all for me I’d find, my ability to look my darkness in the eyes and simultaneously surrender to the glaring truths of my broken states and refuse to let myself remain, my willpower, my passion, my intensity, but most of all, I have to thank Dea and my spirit guides and the ones who have kept me here alive despite those moments I surrendered to my brokenness and I refused my power to rage against the currents’ demands, to see beyond such Hadean dimmed out no sun, no moon, no stars, and when I finally found the door, they wouldn’t let me pass, not even once and not even twice…,the ones who melded me with such unshakeable feeling even in the drowning of intoxicant that there’s a reason I chose this, sealed with my flesh all for my remembrance every time I reached out for the door, and the ones who relentlessly shouted their messages to me until I was ready to listen

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